DOTS: New South Edition

"Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78) 01/04/2018 at 15:01 • Filed to: None

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Technically a parking lot, so it’s not technically DOTS, I guess. GLS63.

This is just SO Alabama I can’t think of a more quintessential car. Built here, sold here in droves, horrendously thirsty, unreasonably fast, onboxiously loud when it wants to be — and tooling around all over the place, usually by soft-spoken, well mannered little ladies who see no irony in the choice of vehicle. That’s a pretty universal “New Money” thing, I just find it especially amusing with this demographic who likely just came from a Junior League meeting about how to raise funds for United Way or something similar.

Fun with stereotypes to paint a picture for you since I didn’t want to invade her privacy when she walked up — yes, it had a personalized tag. Because of course it did.

And in a single 30-minute errand, I saw TWO of them. This is the second. My Passat wagon is worth $1,400 (private party) on a good day. But I parked closer to the store, so HAHA!

Textured Soy Protein > Ash78, voting early and often 01/04/2018 at 15:22

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Were there bedazzle-butt jeans involved? Here in Wisconsin it’s usually a Yukon Denali and a bedazzle butt jeans.

Most likely driven from the mall to a McMansion in a subdivision built on what used to be a corn field 10 years ago, maybe with a golf course, but no privacy because of a total lack of any old growth trees. Just a bigass house among other bigass houses all in a flat field of grass.

fintail > Ash78, voting early and often 01/04/2018 at 15:23

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Bootstrappers no doubt.

Might be an illusion, it appears this doesn’t have driver’s assist/distronic? Cheapskates.

Plenty of these in my neck of the woods too, one of the default choices for similar Stepfords and sketchy relatively new arrival money launderers, I mean “businessmen” or “investors”.

Ash78, voting early and often > Textured Soy Protein 01/04/2018 at 15:25

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Of course not. Lululemon all the way. :D

Ash78, voting early and often > fintail 01/04/2018 at 15:25

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It appeared to all be built into the grill ornament, which was unusually glossy. Better than a standalone sensor, I suppose.

fintail > Ash78, voting early and often 01/04/2018 at 15:28

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Then it has it, doh. When the ornament is a flush glossy piece, it has driver’s assist.

Textured Soy Protein > Ash78, voting early and often 01/04/2018 at 15:29

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The continued popularity of bedazzle butt jeans in Wisconsin always baffles me. Then again, if you hear Bon Jovi on the speakers at a gas station here, you’d think they’re being retro, but they’ve actually just been playing that song since the 80s.